this is real, this is me.
The KenKen
This is real, this is me.
Well i finally passed my Pracital Driving Test. It made me hell of a nervous wreck whilst i could not even walk properly to the car. The whole journey in the car was a killer. Every second was like hours. Cold sweat trickled down my inner calve as i stepped into the car and put my leg on the pedal. Did parking, ramp shit, and roundabouts, and some fuck driving, like fucking totalling 23 minutes only.
When the fucker ( tester ) asked me to return to the centre, I was like, "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? SO FAST " Then I told myself : "Zhee bai siao liao" (This time die already in hokkien) And arrived back at the centre. As I was waiting for my result slip, I lay in grey angony there as the seeds of anticipation rushed through my balls.
And then , I got it. 18 fucking demerit points. Fuck, i passed. Finally.
I guessed the visualisations and self motivation did help after all.
6:11 PM
Dow Jones is falling. Falling big, falling great.
This whole recession is getting bigger before any of us can know.
Brace yourself.
Singapore shares are plummeting too.
8:41 PM
Happy Bday Sis :)
Be Strong.
8:14 PM
NOW let me visualise me opening the door to my car.
Let me imagine walking to take the the driving license.
I've waited so long for this.
ONE MORE DAY TO TP.
8:04 PM
Just got back from 2 days of chalet. Was Kelvin's 21st birthday.
Hope you enjoyed yourself man.
Happy fucking birthday bro.
5:57 AM
Hello everybody, I'm ken and i would like to make a declaration :
I WILL MAKE IT BIG.
5:55 AM
Banish Doubt :
By banishing doubt and thinking in no - limit ways, you clear a space for the power of intention to flow through. The power of intention is so doubt - deficient that when you're connected to it you see what you'd like to have as already being present.
I believe there are no limits. Limits were there in the first place because of our environment. And they were meant to be broken. Limits are also obstacles that heighten many from achieving their higher selves. Others will think they wont even attempt to do anything because of the set of believes within them that set them casted by their limits.
Never doubt yourself. You are what you are. In everything you do you only have two outcomes : Succeed , or fail. Would you rather wanna fail without trying or would you wanna fall after you;ve given it your best? Will you give a tough fight or even be strong in the face of adversity ?
Listen to yourself, feel your emotions and take on any life boulders with a never - say - die attitude. Since we were born to die, why not we all dare to fail?
6:21 AM
It's 7pm now. Just woke up.
Gonna go out sutdy already.
Aiming to study till four then,
go to SIM straight for lecutures
after a two hour nap.
It's the freaking examination period.
Geekarisation ?
3:27 AM
School boredom cessations :
Exams in 2 weeks.
TP in 2 weeks.
HELP.
10:27 PM
It's only been barely a year; you've changed so much.
Misses.
10:19 PM
A card she gave to me personally, of all The Power OF Intention Cards. A piece of paper, that within it, held decipherations of one being simple and kind. Being unproud of any glorified activity that happens. A card for everyone, but specially for me. Thank you Rossie. She didnt want me to repeat the mistakes i made half a year ago, a stage in my life where i thought so highly of myself that i didnt care about the people around me. It was me only, ME. So, I've already reflected; and am already changing. This way, the world seems a better place if only you STOP complaining.
Be Humble : Don't allow the apporval and attention of others to destroy you. Remain humble and grateful for all your accomplishments, and know that a force greater than your ego is always at work in your life.
Ken. S
10:14 PM
Grasping The Essence of Infinity :
If life is infinite, then this is not life. Graspin this concept will connect you permanently to the infinite Source of Creation that intends everything. By seeing yourself as an infinite being, the fear of death is forever eliminated.
Dr Wayne Dyer W.
10:40 AM
Find Your Purpose :
If you want to find yur true purpose in life, know this for certain : Your purpose will only be found in service to others, and in being connected to something is far greater than anything else.
Were you meant to serve in this life ? Were you born to lead a boring life ? Did you start and end life on a monotonous level ? How can you make your life a more interesting one ? What can allow you to reach out into the hearts of the people you love and touch their soul? Will you dare to lead and take on challenges like a silver knight does?
Everyone has a purpose.
Do you ?
Ken Siaw K. B.
5:00 AM
See The Beauty In Everything :
AS you awaken to your divine nature, you'll begin to appreciate beauty in everything you see, touch, and experience.
Everything happens for a good reason. Be it a scolding, a loss of a mobile phone, a close encounter with death, discountinuation of a friendship, a quarrel, anything, anything bears within it a fruit of better or future benifit. Be it a lesson, a teaching that will guide you to your greater purpose in life : Not to regret anything you do.
Ken Siaw K. B.
2:10 AM
I have a deck of cards; given to me by a small person with a big heart. And I wanna share it with everyone. It's a deck of cards, every of which holds a phrase with an important paragraph to it. The words are simple, however they carry deep decipherations.
Lap,
Ponder,
Think,
Reflect,
Improve,
Leap,
Intergrate
Advance. MOVE ON.
The Power Of Intentions :
The power of intentions is the power of love and receptivity. It asks nothing of anyone, it judges no one, and it encourages others to be free to be themselves. Remember : you were intended out of love, so you must love in order to intend.
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
6:56 PM
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..........
SO FATIGUED.
Been awake for more than 30 hours now.
Stayed up the whole of last night just to study.
Damn i'm becoming a nerd.
Maybe i wanna be labelled as a geek.
(Although i know i dont look like one)
Exams round the corner.
I will make this count.
TP on 25.
I will make it even more count.
I'm so tired.
Goodnight everybardie.
7:34 PM
SORRY.
Forgive me for being egoistic.
Forgive me for being proud.
Forgive me for being spastic,
When the whole world frowns.
Forgive me for being self centered.
Forgive me for being so blue.
Forgive me for being straightforward,
Sorry for not being true.
Sorry if I have hurt you,
Sorry if you hate me,
Sorry if you despised me,
Sadly I wanna flea.
Sorry for pushing around too much,
Sorry for caring about myself,
Sorry for casting doubts to munch,
Sorry i wanted to help.
Sorry all.
8:26 AM
If only he could leave me alone. Just fucking leave me alone. Let me lead the life i want. And be there only whenever i need him. The fucking fact is that he does not let go. I want to grow up. In fucking fact, I'm already 23 this year. And still face this kind of FUCKED UP shits early teenagers were dealt with by their ever-so-worried-parents.
My Dad. He's one is a million. More of the bad side, sad to say, he controls my every movement day in and day out. He can ask me to do everyday things like bathe, leave exactly 60 minutes before sch WHEN MY SCHOOL IS SO NEAR MA HOUSE. To drink water, wear this shoe out of fashion or no ( WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW ABOUT FASHION ) or do this do that or even cut my fucking fingernails. LIKE I DONT KNOW THAT I NEED TO DO THIS AND THAT ?!
All these stuff are stuffs that everyone and anyone knows what to do. And i HATE; HATE people telling me what to do and how to do things. Especially how i live my life. If you look at me, and you look at my little younger brother 2 years younger than me, I reckon you wont believe it. We grew up in the same family. We were fed the same stuff and brought up under the same conditions. It's just that i choose to interpret all these dily happenings that makeme so much more different than him.
It doesnt matter how i feel anymore. I give in. I wanna be normal. I wanna know how you feel. I wanna let you feel what i want you to feel. I wanna be ok with everyone and anyone.
8:19 AM
FUCKYOUDAD.
LEAVE ME ALONE.
8:18 AM
I had one of the most unexpected talks with people i'd never expected yesterday. At 12 midnight i went out for supper with my SIM friends; Ernest and Rossie, and we chatted about every little boring aspect about life. I always thought they were normal people who just lived their life everyday being woe trouble free.
And then we started talking about each other's character. This trio actually had alot of similarities. Moreover when Rossie extracted the essence of my personaility, I got shocked. Some of my traits that even I did not realised, she lashed everything at me like she knew me from the minute I was born. Even, at someone her age ( She's from China ) , a foreigner, she knew the importance of separating the intention from the behaviour.
Separatin the intention from the behaviour is a very important thing in everyday life. Be in encounters with friends, foes, lecturers, parents, colleagues, bosses or anyone, never ever ever mistake or deduce a person's intention from his behaviour.
For example, should a mother lashing at her son mercilessly for not looking out before crossing the road, the behavior is that her scolding and scolding her son non stop, even to the extent of caning and slapping or warning her son. But what is the intention ? The intention of the whole scenario is because she loves her son so much that she does not want to lose him at all. She loves him. But she doesnt show it.
This is the problem with many people, be it guardians, parents or politicians. While majority of the people look at your behavious, beg to differ and notice their intention.
:)
8:02 AM
And as we all push ourselves to break the limits and integrate into our more successful self, we unknowingly influence the people around us. While many join in along the way and have fun, others scrutinise with skeptism and scorn you like a rat.
And as we attempt to approach all friends we have to pull them up to get to where they want to, some apparently pull us down too. But we mut know our roots. I will always lend a helping hend to he who wants to learn. I believe anyone and everyone will always have a higher limit of beliefs waiting to be broken. There can be no barriers to how far one can go.
We should always be pushing ourselves. Maybe i should never stop trying.
Dare to Fail;
5:19 AM
Im gonna give it my best shot. Exams are round the corner. And i wanna take this chance to prove myself. It might seem i play alot. people judge me based on my figure of speech. From their brief encounters of me or maybe even stories that numerous tell them. I am just but a normal person. I might seem that i play alot. E**** thinks my behaviour is childish. Well I wanna thank you for having that thought and bringing it across. But i will make use of this opportunity to let you see I am not what you see on the exterior.
Know me better , and you might be shocked.
Dont treat me like im better than you. Dont treat me like im superior to you. Dont act as if im the leader or some cult chief. I am just but a normal man. I need time to prove that. Maybe not now. But in the future i will make something happen. It's in the midst of planning but i only have one shot. One failed attempt will be all it takes to bring me down.
To all those that think my blog is boring, keep your hyporcritical opinions to yourself. I dont entertain those people who I think I'm wasting my time and energy on them.
Read if you wish,
leave you may.
Complaints at bay,
keep your thoughts.
We all deserve much better than this.
8:45 AM
Your words pierce through me like a thorned arrow.
I reflect my everyday mundanities and ponder.
There is only one thing more now; Sorrow.
Your actions prove to me like a river.
8:43 AM
