this is real, this is me.

And as we ponder over our daily lives what we normally like to plan for the future endeavours, one man stands at 21 and releases all his hopes that support his breaths. It's not the same anymore, maany a times which i once felt things were still within control, but the bank numbers dont show. The accounts dont reveal a normal figure. Of which once that displayed 5 digit incomes every month, MOST if it is gone.

What lays left is just the foundation of where i started, nothing else is around. I've heard of the mid life crisis term many times, never thought it would once happen to me. Im worried for my future. It might seem normal for me to start life anew as just a normal spoilt brat of a rich fucker but i dont want to be one . I wanna be independent person. Im a student now, i cant work no matter how much i want to.

Imagine being almost close to bankrupt, at 22, and all my dreams for my car and house have been dashed. Imagine holding such high, maybe too high hopes of one's self and then everything comes tumbling now. I dont doubt my abilities, neither do i doubt that it is not my fault. I have been impatient, and greedy, and i guess it's all the most expensive lesson in my life. Accumulated losses of 30 - 40k have been the calculated hit. All my profits from the stock market have been evaporated. Watch your own back.

I tried to smile the past few days, but it all didnt come genuinely.

Sigh, the past few days have been torturous, and i still worry about the near future. It's been sometimes since i saw these miserable figures in my bank account.

But, I'll be strong..
Dont encourage me or motivate me;
I know what to do.

IT's been a while since i felt confident like this :

11:19 AM